Strange but true, a rash of attacks at eatery's all over the eastern sea board brought assistant investigative director "LaBarba" face to face with on of the strangest enemy's he has ever faced! Seemingly immune to all attacks even the "beard punch!" Simply sending the three foot tall collection of living mashed potatoes slamming against a wall.
But luckily no one was injured in the latest attacks, the would be mashed potato monster being unable to hurt LaBarba even when wielding knifes and hot oil! A battle for the ages indeed. No one knows yet how or why this monster has appeared and attack, but we hear at the world Guardian will get to the bottom of it!
LB
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Assistant Investigative Editor: LaBarba.
Today We will be introducing our second in command hear at the World Guardian, Assistant Investigative Editor: "LaBarba" I would love to tell you more about him as a person, but I can't in truth even I know little about him. I first met him on the mean streets of Bogota a masked crime fighter strait out of a comic book, masked caped and bearded.
It is in fact his beard that gives him powers! Handed down from one viking sage to the next the beard grants amazing bread powers that allow LaBarba [Or LB as we call him here at TWG] to battle bears, punch cars, and arm wrestle giant snakes!
So after a age of fighting crime on the mean streets he has decided to join us hear at the Guardian.
DVW
It is in fact his beard that gives him powers! Handed down from one viking sage to the next the beard grants amazing bread powers that allow LaBarba [Or LB as we call him here at TWG] to battle bears, punch cars, and arm wrestle giant snakes!
So after a age of fighting crime on the mean streets he has decided to join us hear at the Guardian.
DVW
Monday, May 14, 2012
Lion kills 42 midget wrestlers.
Reporting at the scene of yet another attack on a group of midget wrestlers, this group also a group of extraterrestrials in hiding on our planet, they wear engaging in one of there races great cultural events, when a lion jumped into the ring seemingly out of nowhere.
The event was taking place in Cambodian, and by the end of the attack on these visitors 28 wear dead and 14 wear in critical condition. We have every indication that this was yet another attack by some as of yet unknown force or group, since there is some compelling evidence that the lion was, in fact, a Cyborg Lion...
Our investigation continues but is getting considerably more dangerous.
More later.
DVW & LB.
The event was taking place in Cambodian, and by the end of the attack on these visitors 28 wear dead and 14 wear in critical condition. We have every indication that this was yet another attack by some as of yet unknown force or group, since there is some compelling evidence that the lion was, in fact, a Cyborg Lion...
Our investigation continues but is getting considerably more dangerous.
More later.
DVW & LB.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
miget wrestlers killed by prostitiues?!?!?
Alien midget wrestlers assassinated by ninja prostitutes.
Not to long ago some of you may have read a report that a pair of Mexican midget wrestlers (Or little person sports entertainer as they like to be called) Were killed pair a pair of girls posing as prostitutes, who drugged them in a attempt to rob them, but because of there small body size they tragically overdosed.
Some of you may have also heard that this was in fact a April fools joke.
Inside sources have tipped off out investigation team to a coverup of the highest level.
These two individuals wear not what they seamed, and there assassins wear not who they wear reported to be. The Midgets were in fact interstellar visitors from the Pollux star system, and the prostitute were Ninjas sent by a as of yet unknown group to kill these aliens.
It is not yet know who had these little visitors from another planet killed, or weather or not the ninja involved wear simply ninjas or ninja prostitutes. The information we do have is stretchy at best, only that the two seam to have been killed with some soft of poison applied by very small needles most likely fired from a blowpipe.
There are singes of a struggle, but it would seam that the two wear no match for there Ninja attackers, More information as we get it.
DVW
Some of you may have also heard that this was in fact a April fools joke.
Inside sources have tipped off out investigation team to a coverup of the highest level.
These two individuals wear not what they seamed, and there assassins wear not who they wear reported to be. The Midgets were in fact interstellar visitors from the Pollux star system, and the prostitute were Ninjas sent by a as of yet unknown group to kill these aliens.
It is not yet know who had these little visitors from another planet killed, or weather or not the ninja involved wear simply ninjas or ninja prostitutes. The information we do have is stretchy at best, only that the two seam to have been killed with some soft of poison applied by very small needles most likely fired from a blowpipe.
There are singes of a struggle, but it would seam that the two wear no match for there Ninja attackers, More information as we get it.
DVW
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Ninja in the foothills of Kentucky?
As we all know that Ninja sightings are on the rise all over the world. But a odd spike in Ninja sightings lead me back to my home state of Kentucky. After months of exhaustive research, investigation and interviewing ninja sighting eye witnesses. I narrowed my search to Knox County Kentucky.
And after searching the community of Barbourville, and the surrounding forested areas.
My investigation and sources inside the Ninja Community leads me to believe that all of Knox County, From the police department, fire department, hospital, Union College, even the 1-149th Infantry of the Kentucky National guard are comprised largely of Ninja and there allies.
The political and social alinement of these ninjas is as of yet unknown to me. But considering that I made it out of the county without being attacked leads me to believe that these ninjas may be more benevolent then the others I have encountered.
DVW
And after searching the community of Barbourville, and the surrounding forested areas.
My investigation and sources inside the Ninja Community leads me to believe that all of Knox County, From the police department, fire department, hospital, Union College, even the 1-149th Infantry of the Kentucky National guard are comprised largely of Ninja and there allies.
The political and social alinement of these ninjas is as of yet unknown to me. But considering that I made it out of the county without being attacked leads me to believe that these ninjas may be more benevolent then the others I have encountered.
DVW
Monday, April 23, 2012
Greetings for the Publisher and chief: Douglas Van white.
I'm very pleased that you have taken the time out of your day to come and look at our little corner of the internet, in my years of investigative reporting I have constantly been frustrated by my inability to publish stories that my editors didn't want to get out because "there investors" would not like it. What they really mean is that the powers that be and government agency's that own stock in there newspapers would shut them down.
I have spent the better part of a decade going around the world to investigate story's that most reporters would never dream of undertaking. Monsters, bandits, assassins and rebels.
But my years of Military, Intelligence and Secret Martial arts training prepared me for almost anything that the job could throw at me.
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